A Naturalistic Fairy Tale-Part XXII

And then did we decide that giant meteors were possibly not the cause of mass extinction. We did decide that perhaps magnetic blips resulting in SUPER volcanoes (1) were the cause (praise Science). Please do disregard our past theories, or keep them in mind, in case we bring them up again as THE explanation.

“The weakening of Earth’s magnetic field exposed the surface to a shower of cosmic radiation, says Yukio Isozaki of the University of Tokyo. He believes the radiation broke nitrogen in the atmosphere into ions that acted as seeds for clouds enshrouding the planet.”

Yes, we, naturalistic atheists of the TRUE FAITH do believe in a firmament.  Not one that a god had to do with, but the real one that actually happened (praise Science).  We shall explain the global flood from a naturalistic perspective soon (i.e., true perspective), but we’ll use computer simulations, and it will be very, very, far in the past.  Therefore, you can do nothing other than believe, unless you are stupid and lacking faith in random processes. So, at the 250 Million Years Ago point, did a plume of super hot material begin rising through the mantle of the Earth.

This did upset the convection of the core, and did throw the Earth’s magnetic field in disarray.  This did result in massive Global Cooling, and the sea levels did drop (praise Science).  And then did, 5 million years later, the super-hot material did burst through the surface of the Earth in 3 massive super-volcanoes!  Individually, they were inadequate, but all together, they did result in massive death (praise Science).  As we have taught you before, through death comes life.  If we do teach you one thing, this is the most important.  So, did exactly 67% of life become extinct.  That was a close one, but our ancestors did live until they died (praise Science).

(1). Did magnetic blip trigger mass extinction? MSNBC.

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A Naturalistic Fairy Tale-Part XX

And then did we, Most High Scientists, run a computer simulation of the universe back many billions of years in time.  We do know you are impressed by computer simulations (praise Science).  We hope you will forget we cannot predict the weather of this planet very well more than a few days ahead.  We shall, however, present our most recent simulation and we know you will be convinced, because facts are facts.

Thus, as we did run the simulation back in time, the universe did bounce.  We did not find the singularity that we previously said was true, in favor of the now, possibly, real truth.   Because of Loop Quantum Cosmology, did we discover that there was no singularity “before” the big bang (before time existed).  So, we do now assert an infinite recycling of the universe that colapses only to a certain point, expands and then collapses again.  We hope you’ll ignore that silly research that suggests that the current incarnation of the universe will never collapse, because we don’t have to worry about those silly issues that the ID proponents do bandy about.

Bojowald’s major realisation was that unlike general relativity, the physics of LQC did not break down at the big bang. Cosmologists dread the singularity because at this point gravity becomes infinite, along with the temperature and density of the universe. As its equations cannot cope with such infinities, general relativity fails to describe what happens at the big bang. Bojowald’s work showed how to avoid the hated singularity, albeit mathematically. “I was very impressed by it,” says Ashtekar, “and still am.” (1)

Do please ignore that we have not expressed our hatred for the singularity publicly.  We do not like to dissent from known facts in that way.  We do like to dissent from our own views only when we have a better naturalistic explanation (praise Science).

Through our cunning combination of Einstein’s (very very smart fellow) theory of gravity with quantum mechanics our computers were able to discern the nature of the “beginning.”  Please do not look up the dictionary definition of tangible (2).

We did hope that the singularity would disappear, and, praise Science it has.  But don’t look for it to disappear any time soon.  We like the sound of the words Big Bang, and will continue liking it (praise Science).

(1). http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20026861.500-did-our-cosmos-exist-before-the-big-bang.html

(2). http://www.onelook.com/?w=tangible&ls=a

A Naturalistic Fairy Tale-Part XIX

We must go back a bit, in the name of Science, to enlighten you with our recent stories.  We do now know that the “end-bringers” were the “life-givers” (praise Science).  Between 4.2 and 3.8 Billion Years Ago did asteroids (life-givers), impact the Earth 100,000 times more frequently (we did know you would be impressed).  We do know you are impressed by large numbers (praise Science).

With this heavy onslaught, we do now know that carboxilic acid would have been formed (an essential compound for building protiens and food for early evotures…formerly known as creatures).  We did mimic an asteroid impact in the laboratory (praise Science), and we did find that these complex molecules did form.  We did calculate that 100 Billion metric tons of these pre-life units would have been formed (are you not now convinced by another big number?).

“You can sort of envision prebiotic experiments going on in hundreds of warm, shallow pools, like Darwin imagined.”(1)

We do now know that you can imagine it, and because of that we do now know it’s true (praise Science).  So we do now say that panspermia is false, and this is the way that life did begin–through the “life-bringers.”

(1).  Asteroid impacts gave early spark to life

A Naturalistic Fairy Tale-Part XVIII

And then did we, Most High Scientist, put to bed the mystery of the origin of sex. Sex did arise from hermaphrodites (praise Science), as we do now know from our study of strawberry plants.(1) Well at least in plants, but we’ll title the article as if the whole mystery we did solve, because it might as well have been the whole mystery, for we can generalize. We did learn, that genes at two different spots in the strawberry plant can cast that plant as a hermaphrodite, single sex, or neuter (praise Science).

“All of the animals and plants that are bi-sexual [praise Science; text added], or have two sexes, are theorized to have evolved according to a particular set of steps,” said researcher Kim Lewers, a plant geneticist at the USDA’s Genetic Improvement of Fruits and Vegetables Lab in Maryland. “Until now, no example had been found of the very earliest steps. Therefore, those steps were undemonstrated to be true.”

Please do continue to rely on us, the Most High Scientists, to solve whatever tiny mysteries do remain. We do think you now must be utterly convinced by the strawberry plant about the origin of sex in all of its variations.

(1) Scientists put sex origin to bed, MSNBC

A Naturalistic Fairy Tale-Part XVII

Then did we discover that some of those early trails that we did think were from multi-cellular creatures1 (or evotures to coin a phrase unconnected with the root term Creation), were actually from a gigantic single-celled organism.

This giant single celled creature’s trails were from 10 million years before the Cambrian explosion did occur.2 Within 5,000 times since the time of Christ, did complex hard-bodied evotures arise filling virtually every niche of the planet (praise Science!).  Evolution is amazing in its ways and speedy in its past.

Although there are no fossils, we do know, by the method of scientific imagination, that evolution did produce the subsequent wide ranging diversity of life.  Even though some of the species continue to exist today, as with the giant cell pictured to the left, all it does take is the right combination of time and selective pressures.

So, we do hope you appreciate the beauty of the evotures that nature has produced.  And, with time, we hope you can share our imagination of the benefits to humanity, or life in general, that may some day be produced as a result of our fact-filled imaginations.  You see, because we constantly revise our beliefs, we do show how open minded we are.  We do not, however, change our most important belief (praise Science), that material processes have given rise to all.  We do hope you continue to be patient, as we are working hard to save your life by the study of evolution (praise Science).

1 http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?search=creature&searchmode=none
2 http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27827279/

A Naturalistic Fairy Tale-Part XVI

And then did we discover that minerals did co-evolve with life.1 Not that minerals did mutate, but that biological processes did transform the interstellar grains into the thousands of minerals that we find on the Earth today. All of the elements did exist in that early primordial dust, but praise Science that life did transform it into the minerals that are abundant on the Earth today. Plate tectonics did contribute, but it was the origin of life that did truly produce the diversity of minerals on the Earth today. Perhaps 2/3 of the 4300 mineral “species” that do exist on Earth today are the result of biology. Other planets, may have only 500 mineral “species.” But thanks to biology and a lot of time, we have a lot of minerals (praise Science).

1 http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/11/081113181035.htm

A Naturalistic Fairy Tale-Part XV

We must skip back a bit. Then did we discover that volcanoes were possibly, and therefore compellingly, responsible for life’s origins. When one is faced with a dilemma, that seems unsolvable, we do find it best to take a shotgun approach. We do hope we throw out enough different ideas to establish that we have sufficient imagination, if not, we do have more waiting to be conceived (Praise Science).  We do not suffer from the Creationist lack of imagination.  We do never
make those kinds of arguments unless it does involve God or miracles, which are clearly ridiculous, naturally. From the zapping of the old soup,2 and our modern technology, did we learn that when we injected gas, that comes from volcanoes, into that old soup, did we find 10 amino acids which were not found by our hero. Silly, did we first think that the early atmosphere was composed of methane, hydrogen, and ammonia. As that wrong fact has been corrected as always (only slightly of course), we do now know that the early atmosphere was composed of 3 elements: carbon dioxide, hydrogen, and methane. And we do now know that this did give rise to life (Praise Science).

1 http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27284025/
2 http://www.issol.org/miller/miller1953.pdf